Dawn of a new era...

Yesterday I was 29 years old. I felt invincible, ready to take on the world and whatever it threw at me.

And I couldn't ask for a more beautiful day to celebrate my birthday. Although it is a Monday, which has never been my favorite day of the week; I couldn't ask for a lovelier day. The sun is shining, the clear blue sky has a few light puffy clouds wandering by.

So now, I am 30 years old. With the passing of one day, I feel a million years older. Seems silly, but I guess it comes down to how concious I am that my youth is beginning to leave me, that I must make the transition to full adulthood. Now this does not mean I must never feel young again as I do believe you are only as old as you feel. To me, it means I must finally stop procrastinating and begin to create the better life that I am always telling my self I have time for tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.

The time is now. So I must pick up the torch to light up my life. Aging is never easy, but if you learn just a little with each year that passes, perhaps we can grow into people who can be comfortable to be ourselves in our own skin.

For I want to be able to say I have a full life, rich in love, happiness and laughter. I want to be able to live my life without regret, to be so sure of my path that those nagging thoughts of what if never even come to mind.

In turning 30, I can say I am close to being at peace with my self. I thought I would have known so much more by now about my purpose, of my true calling for I have always thought I might be meant to do something great. However, I think what I have learned is that there is nothing great that matters if you are not surrounded by people you love.

In turning 30, I wish I could say I have loads of wisdom to impart, but really all I've learned is that the road is ahead and just about to begin... Perhaps if I follow my heart I will see that nothing is really far from within my grasp. For if I've learned anything, I've realized that the faltering only comes from doubting what I am capable of.

So hello world at 30, here I come!

RIP ~ John Paul ~ April 2nd, 2005.

Say a prayer. Wish for peace. Enjoy the moment.

I think this was a very sad ending to a beautiful life full of such purpose.

Go with God now, John Paul, for that is where you belong....

Countdown to insanity...

Strength. Patience. Silence.

These are all words that I think of when I think of the turtle tattoo I had inked onto my shoulder on my sister's birthday long ago. I wanted something that meant a great deal to me but would not be a big eye sore on my body. I didn't want the tattoo to be too large, so my choices were limited. In the end, I chose this turtle because it reminded me of peace, silence and a strong connection with my own inner strength.

I knew I didn't want to drop my drawers for the tattoo artist either so my shoulder became the easy option. The colour was more the artist's choice then mine - I said green and black, he ended up making it a shaded light to brighter emerald green for the inside of the black outline of the shell.

Now, if you are wondering if it would hurt, well I'm not sure it really did in the end. It was a smaller tattoo and the artist talked to me throughout the whole ordeal to keep me calm. Yet if you asked me the day I had the tattoo done; I would not have been too proud to tell you that I threw up twice in the washroom before my appointment. And that was before I even saw the little needles that would do all the picking that would turn my ink into a masterpiece of tattoo art. So as I sat down to begin my drawing's transformation into permanent ink, I began to feel all gutsy for my rough coming of age moment.

And to this day, I do not regret the beautiful turtle upon my shoulder.

So now, you must wonder what the insanity could be after all this talk of inner strength and enlightenment through a peaceful journey; well... I'm about to cross the depths out to the inner sanctum. Approximately 2 weeks till doomsday - and that would be the transition from my 20s to the ripe old age of 30.